Chasing Toff

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Nov. 6th, 2009 @ 01:38 pm 4ish Days Left

Current Mood:

lethargic
Current Music: Reg Noises from the Library

( Backlog is a way of life )

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celeni

Nov. 6th, 2009 @ 09:28 am How I Battled the Insecurity Demon and Won (Part 3 of 3)

6. Align Yourself With the Right People. Remember when I mentioned hanging out with other people with no self-esteem? People with no self-esteem or self-actualization come in all shapes and sizes but a lot of their traits remain consistent with these "friends." Whether they're unemployed or flunking out of school for the nth time, a lot of them don't seem to have conventional notions of personal success. Personal success to them may mean always being at all the cool events, being affiliated with the cool people, or maybe being that cool person who always has the drugs or buys the rounds of drinks. As it is with a lot of "cool" things, they tend to look a lot different when you examine them closer. The perpetual tambays I knew always seem to have some new drama or chismis to throw a fuss over. Ironically enough, they usually cap their tirades with "I'm so sick of this drama!" If they're not the chatty sort, then together you'll waste time gathering moss by way of playing video games, smoking your brains out, whatever. These people complain a lot and seem to be the masters of finding every single way to dodge reality. Get the fuck away from that and find real friends. I'm not telling you to cut ties, you can still stay friends and hang out but don't mistake all the counterproductivity as a sign of true friendship. Don't think they're real buddies just because you can emo out to them over a case of beer. Real friends will be able to listen and understand, but they also will call you out on your bullshit and support you, respect you, and motivate you to go for your dreams. More than that, real friends are in touch with the real world and do something with their lives, too.

Preaching like this doesn't always agree with me. I sorely wish that all my word vomit could always be witty and cheery, but truths that concern demons are always heavy and mean.

As I said earlier, things do end on a happier note when you find yourself emotionally at peace with the world and being everything you've always wanted to be.

To echo that sentiment, I'll share with you this project called "Learning To Love You More." Started by artists Miranda July and Harrell Fletcher, it was an interactive project that called for people to do any or all the 70 assignments drafted by the two. The assignments are all quirky and sweet with the output becoming installation art and the participants gaining introspection and heart from the process that went into it. Here's an example of something I like:

Assignment #55 Photograph a significant outfit.
"I told you I'd be dressed as a spy because of that trench coat. This is what I was wearing the night of our fist real date. We had our first kiss. That same day, I applied to my dream art school. Two months later, I got in."
Luna Picoli-Truffaut Paris, FRANCE

A lot of the assignments were already provoking thought at the mere mention of the tasks at hand. The ones that jumped up at me were the ones that went: #31 Spend time with a dying person, #45 Reread your favorite book from fifth grade, and my personal favorite, #52 Write the phone call you wish you could have.

I don't feel left out at all when I realize there hardly is any self-help material for the likes of cynical, non-perky me. I hate the word "self-help" actually (it sounds like a euphemism for jacking off). I wouldn't change anything of my kooky, twisted, sometimes comedic personal journey.

Looking back at all the anguish I caused myself, it makes me wonder how I managed to sustain a relationship with insecurity that way. I guess that it's only with the dark night that we'll ever get to understand or appreciate the light that has been there all along.

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Nov. 6th, 2009 @ 10:22 am Am I evil?

My legendary ex-boyfriend from hell is still a dickhead. Man, I hate that guy. He's just so.. slimy. I don't know how it was that I let him hang around me in the first place, but then again, I was young, restless, slightly insane; maybe I thought I could fix him. Or was I just lonely? I do recall having been perpetually drunk at the time.

Generally I'd rather not have anything to do with this person, but I don't mind hearing from him every so often, just to see what stupidity he decides to throw my way every now and then. All you need is love, but sometimes -sometimes- it can be equally delicious to feel nothing but perfectly valid loathing towards scum. Am I evil? Yes.

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hulian

Nov. 5th, 2009 @ 10:04 am How I Battled the Insecurity Demon and Won (Part 2 of 3)

When I say "Insecurity Demon," the imagery is pretty spot on with the kind of degenerative feelings that would consume me. Nothing about personal demons is pleasant or merciful, at least that's the way it went with me. I had to get my hands dirty to deal with them and it usually entailed having to remove the blinders from my face and listen to a lot of harsh truths that I refused to see. Here were the lessons I picked up, and I assure you, things do have to get worse before they can get better. Then when you learn to fight the good fight, nothing can ever hurt you the same way again.

1. Endlessly Comparing Yourself to Other People Will Be the Death of You. "If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself." (Desiderata, Max Erhmann) I tend to remember this quote when I want to stop caring about the people and things that make me insecure. Each of us have our own paths to take and we have our own ways and ideas to live this one life of ours. Everyone deserves happiness, even you. Love the life you have. For a long time, I felt like I always had to cave in to somebody else's concept of a perfect life when I should have my own. My own concept of life and living may not be the coolest or the hippest, but it's the best because it's mine, and no one else's.

2. Nobody Gives a Shit, So Stop Taking Yourself So Seriously. Here's another fact of life: People will look once, and then forget. Everyone is preoccupied with their own lives and the people who take the time to scrutinize yours obviously have nothing better to do.

3. Try Seeing Yourself From the Third Person Point of View. When I tried seeing myself as I really was, alright, I was such a walking cliche for the angsty and narcissistic. Moving from #2, you should realize that the world doesn't revolve around you and your problems. You inhabit a world with so many other people. You are part of a series of dynamics with people no matter where you find yourself to be. The sooner you are aware of this, the more you'll get your head out of the sand. Instead of complaining about how everything makes you feel, why not see how your energy and attitude makes everyone else feel. For someone as self-loathing as the insecure person, they also happen to be one of the most self-centered and selfish people in the planet.

4. Stop Trying To Bring Down Everyone With You. Utilizing all those defense mechanisms are painfully obvious to everyone more than you'd like to think. You think people don't notice whenever you put up another passive-aggressive status message or constantly loudly proclaiming that you don't care if you're left out? Hint: People who don't really care just don't, you obviously care when you exert the energy to announce it and possibly guilt trip people. I remember coming across a quote about how people create brick walls around themselves just to see who cares enough to knock them down. Like all tragic statements such as that, there's always something achingly beautiful about it. Seriously though, there exists that selfish aspect again. Who gave you the right to burden people with the responsibility of knocking your walls down? It's a responsibility. A noble one, yes, but a responsibility nonetheless. This responsibility solely belongs to you, stop playing victim and realize that some things may be beyond your control but not the way you react. That choice belongs to you. Don't create that wall in the first place. Creating it only means you're resorting to an attention-seeking plea for help, and it gets old.

"If any of us get laid tonight, it's because of Eric Bana in 'Munich.'"

5. Do something with Your Life. A big characteristic of being insecure is feeling like there's a void in you. Life then becomes a quest to fill that void. The insecure tend to fear breaking out of their comfort zones (again, it would mean actually dealing with themselves and their bullshit if they do) and therefore search for something instant. With something instant, say a senseless hook-up, plunging into an infatuation-based relationship, abusing alcohol, abusing drugs, hanging out with other people with no self-esteem... they're all temporal. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to point out that the aforementioned are all escapes. When the highs garnered from those wear off (such is always the case for anything shallow and insubstantial), you're again left with your ol' pitiful lonesome. After that, you'll be clamoring for a quick fix again and the cycle goes on until you decide to snap out of it. What do you achieve out of this? NOTHING. So please do something productive with your life. Get busy with school or work. Take up a new hobby, exercise, make art, just throw yourself into something worth doing and self-worth will start filling that void for real.

Well, I'm not yet done. Often when I look back on a lot of things that have happened to me, I now usually just go, "Damn, that would've made a great movie, and my soundtrack would be so cool." No matter how much of a wreck I was, things always do have a way of working things out. Just tune in, plug in, and get yourself cracking.

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Nov. 5th, 2009 @ 09:21 am How I Battled the Insecurity Demon and Won (Part 1 of 3)

I'm willing to bet that practically all my problems in life came about as a result of a lack of faith in myself and low self-esteem. For years I did a great job of articulating my fears, pains, and dramas down to the most minute detail. If you're familiar with my writing, then I've probably cascaded down to you the endless tales of my geeky, awkward self in high school or the soliloquies of feeling ugly and small. Good times.

There was always something open ended about those stories. Hardly was there ever any resolution, you might say to yourself. Well, I guess I grew up somewhere along the way, and I can tell you that my anthology of self-loathing does end with a happy note.

There probably is a literary genre for the sort of self-deprecating writing I'd partake in. We can call it "Needy Whiny Girl" or "Dark Night of the Soul Artistic Kachorvahan." Then if we were to think of the polar opposite of insecurity purging, I picture the self-help section of the book store or the article topics in a lot of women's magazines. You go, go, go, girl!

Admittedly, it wasn't just my own train wreck musings that got me fixated, I was also transfixed by the journeys of other self-proclaimed insecure girls. Painfully annoying or painfully poignant, I read them all. For one thing, this was a common enemy we were battling. The other thing was that girls truly do have a better grasp of their emotions, and the ones who sum it up well, sum it up beautifully. Broken hearts, lost loves, academic failures, career failures, peer drama, skeletons in the closet — these were human truths that may seem so trivial yet proved to be devastating with each blow.

Yet as history proves to us again and again, some people don't grow out of it and then there are some who manage to look at their souls straight in the eye and dust themselves off like the dark night was just some bad dream. I'm happy whenever I see the latter happen but hardly is it explained how one gets from insecure to self-assured. It seems to just happen out of the blue, I guess?

I think self-esteem issues try to get addressed with all those self-help and women empowerment stuff, but I always found a hard time relating most self-help writing. I wasn't a chirpy girl who had body image issues or a compulsive shopping disorder. I wasn't Cher Horowitz, I was Daria Morgendorfer. Conscious self-improvement doesn't really exist for our types, thinking maybe we can't have that much of an existential crisis if we manage to be this snarky and still listen to great music.

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Nov. 3rd, 2009 @ 04:22 pm On the movies I watched last night.

1 - Jennifer's Body, in concept and idea, is brilliant. A hot teenage girl, the object of all males' affections, literally feeds on them as a result of a supernatural sacrifice gone wrong - by an indie band who wants to make it big and wears eyeliner. But I don't know, somehow it didn't translate on screen...

2 - "It's St. Elmo's Fire. Electric flashes of light that appear in dark skies out of nowhere. Sailors would guide entire journeys by it, but the joke was on them... there was no fire. There wasn't even a St. Elmo. They made it up. They made it up because they thought they needed it to keep them going when times got tough, just like you're making up all of this. We're all going through this. It's our time at the edge." -- Billy the Kid

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w_llflower

Nov. 2nd, 2009 @ 11:18 am Quiet Halloween Again, Oui

Halloween ranks up there as one of my favorite holidays, the other being New Year's Eve where I'm still on the quest to have the perfect midnight smooch. I'd include Thanksgiving, but nothing of me is American and I think I just enjoy any holiday that gives anybody an excuse to pig out and clink bubblies.

The week before Halloween 2009 has been a strange one. It was a week that had scattered random encounters with my friends but a week that kept me emotionally and socially incapacitated for the most part. Of course, had I known I was just PMS-ing, I wouldn't have been so caught up wondering about that ridiculous existential ennui. I had big dreams about this year's Halloween as a result. I was planning a trip to the parlor to have my hair and makeup done even. I needed to get my mind off devouring anything that had chocolate or cheese in it.

Then the following happened: Typhoon Santi blew off chunks of our garage roof (made of flimsy skylight material) and our electricity was knocked out for nearly the entire day.

Saturday morning was spent sweeping all the leaves and branches this typhoon brought upon while I was in my bed pretending that the howls and hacking sounds weren't really happening. My dad, brother, and sister swept the leaves, and because I was the last to step out of the house, I did the very classy job of sticking my hands into plastic bags to scoop the gathered leaves into plastic bins for disposal. The next few hours had us doing errands in the supermarket and having a late lunch out. While my siblings got to work assembling their fighter pilot and Juno costumes by candlelight, I started asking my friends about their plans. Unlike those two, I lost all the energy to preen and purse my lips at a reflection I had to squint at. I already knew what fate befell my uncostumed self, I kissed my visions of drunken tomfoolery goodbye.

To cut the babbling short, I suddenly had plans with my fellow uncostumed and misanthropic brethren. Being under billowing smoke in a familiar pink bedroom, being sandwiched between two smiley friends while tripping out on green lasers, practically inhaling food in Jollibee, getting a flat tire because we were too distracted looking at pretty houses, watching This Is It with my favorite people, putting up with more model plane geekery... I'd say things weren't so bad at all.

Though I think we should all be ready for a louder Halloween next year. I need the candy, the kooky costumes, and the chance to blow a kiss at my reflection at the mirror, sucka.

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Oct. 30th, 2009 @ 07:33 pm 11ish Days Left

Current Mood:

accomplished
Current Music: Katy Perry - Self Inflicted | Powered by Last.fm

Tags: camwhore , friends , photoblog , sembreak , upds

( Camwhores and Real Modern Day Heroes )

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celeni

Oct. 30th, 2009 @ 09:44 am What is this Fuckery?

You know when you're getting old when Thursday night consisted of hanging around Starbucks discussing what hobbies you can take up to keep yourselves indoors and out of trouble. You know you're old when the three of you who tend to have problems managing your vices, find yourselves discussing the options of wood carving and glass blowing.

This was why I was with Alec and Joel in Megamall at Lil's Hobby Shop looking at model airplane kits last night. This was also why Joel and Alec were having a discussion with my dad at the Shell Julia Vargas parking lot about kit assembling tricks and tips.

What is it about dorky little hobbies that reduce us into children again? When Joel paid for his kit at the counter, he had a secret smile and was raring to go home. I have the same look whenever I buy a new graphic novel, and if Alec made up his mind about what model to get, he'd be smiling that goofy smile, too. I'm still on the fence about getting into modeling or not. I think the boys and I are on to something, and it's all because of our common nerdy interests.

And another thing: vaporizer. Ohohoho...

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Oct. 29th, 2009 @ 09:27 am Liszt (Part 2 of 2)

13. For the last couple of years, I can narrow my "I FUCKING HATE WAKING UP" or "GET OUT OF MY WAY" playlist to these three songs:

14. My goal for 2010 is to add as many stamps as I can to my passport. There's an interesting story behind my current passport picture. The night before I had it taken, Saj and I were having a pretty miserable time at Embassy for the Happy Mondays anniversary. Embassy isn't really our thing but our friends were there and we were hoping for good music. I did get my fix for a few minutes when the Ronnies covered Sheena Easton. "...long distance love affair, whoooaaaa! I can't find you anywhere... whoooaaaaa! I call you on the telephone, but you're never home!" It was late 2007, the beginning of my downward spiral. I was shitfaced drunk that night. The next day, my face came out looking pasty with eyebags... and if you look closely, I didn't bother dressing up and I was wearing a gray hoodie with navy blue hearts. Early 20-something self-destruction in a little blue rectangle, yes.

15. Falling in love was so much simpler when you're younger. Of course one can argue if it was really love, but at that time, who knew better? Back then, if I found you cute and I liked the music you listened to, love was set in stone. I used to wear white stud belts, loose jeans, and beaters under plaid shirts, and there existed a handsome boy who was wearing a black The Used t-shirt. We fell in love at first sight. Sorry, I watched 500 Days of Summer last night, and I felt so sorry for that idiot Tom when he decided he met "the one" after finding out she loved the Smiths. I mean, don't get me wrong, if I see a hot guy wearing an Alexisonfire t-shirt, I'd still do a double take. It's just that now at 23, it's not anymore synonymous to destiny.

16. I've been eating at Dunkin Donuts almost everyday before I walk up the stairs to the Shaw Boulevard MRT station. It's seriously cheap comfort food. My favorites are the chocolate creme filled, strawberry filled, butternut coated chocolate, and the marble glazed. Each donut costs 10 bucks a pop, and I don't know if over the years those donuts shrank, or I simply got bigger. As a child, I'd go crazy for the munchkins, and I love how after all those years, the same taste can still be relied on.

17. I'm drooling and looking forward to the Starbucks Christmas pastries. That chocolate crepe cake is seriously asking for it.

18. Speaking of Starbucks, I feel bad that I didn't really get to use my 2009 planner. It's strange because I was beholden to my planners all throughout college. They make excellent time capsules. I should scan some of my doodles and the whiny little bitchings I'd scribble on the margins.

19. Random observation: Do hot guys consider it beneath them to ask a girl out? Are they too used to having girls throw themselves at them that it's considered unnatural to make the first move? I'm annoyed at how it's the slimiest and skeeziest guys who hit on me and my friends. I would really love to have a nice, cute guy hit on me instead of all those creepy types! Tall order? Yea? Nay? No, I refuse to throw myself at men. Guys should make the effort, it's biological for crying out loud.

20. If I were to define what a creepy guy is, to me, it's those guys who seem so eager to leap over the friend hurdle. Aside from the obvious touchy feely moves, the less obvious signs are when you obviously don't have a connection but they keep pressing on by incessantly trying to hang out with you or making inane small talk. If there's "something," it should never feel forced. Those idiots can never seem to take a hint. Here's some honesty, if there's not enough physical attraction and there isn't enough things to talk about to excite each other, you really have to do the friend route. Then you take your chances from there, or you don't at all.

21. I'm feeling hormonal, and this month's incarnation is making me feel cranky and hateful. It makes me wonder if I was better off with the emotional and fragile variant. I was as sensitive as a tea cup bunny and only needed hugs and cupcakes to feel better. Yech! I'm not Miss Unicorns and Rainbows.

22. What was your favorite Fantasia sequence? When I was younger, my sister and I would be enthralled with the one with the centaurs called "The Pastoral Symphony." The girl centaurs came in so many lovely colors with different hair styles and flowers (Click here for the link. Embedding that clip isn't allowed, apparently. It's an uncut version that features some very racist undertones. It's my first time to see it). They were like cartoon Barbies. Of course I say this right after I say, "I'm not Miss Unicorns and Rainbows." Anyway, when Fantasia 2000 came out, my favorite one was the "Rhapsody in Blue" clip, then the Donald Duck as Noah in Noah's Ark for "Pomp and Circumstance" second. I love music like this! That could explain the misspelling of my title.

23. My favorite all-time classical piece (Actually I'm pretty ignorant about classifying these genres. I struggle differentiating Baroque, Romance, or whatever) is "In the Hall of the Mountain King" by Edvard Grieg. It always puts me in a good mood, especially the part where the tempo picks up. Then I just picture myself on top of a seaside cliff commanding the waves to rise and fall, with lightning in the background.

I implore you to raise the volume as loud as you can to appreciate this.

24. I'm a goon, I know.

25. It's funny though because the persona I carry at work tends to be the quiet, unassuming type. I don't know why that is. Partly it's because I'm still not sure of myself at the work environment and I'll look like a total jackass if I walk around acting like some boss lady. I really don't know. I think it's my way of avoiding trouble. Playing it shy and oblivious isn't an act for me most of the time, I really become that around the office.

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Oct. 28th, 2009 @ 09:02 pm 12ish Days Left

Current Mood:

disappointed
Current Music: Taylor Swift - Love Story | Powered by Last.fm

Tags: photoblog , sembreak

( See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns )

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celeni

Oct. 28th, 2009 @ 03:15 pm That Katana Has My Name On It

May I have all three please? You know I'll have sword fights with these.
This website's too fucking awesome.

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Oct. 27th, 2009 @ 05:51 pm Liszt (Part 1 of 2)

Rules: Once you've been tagged, write a note with 25 things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged.

1. I have a few minutes to kill before I head out of the office. Having a job made me see that it's a very human thing to desire routine. I have a foul disposition in the mornings and I really, really hate having to squeeze my way through crowds of people to catch a train or hop into a jeep. Given those traits, you'd think I should hate routine, but I think I really am on the quest to find something that will come naturally. Like, when I wake up, I want to get excited with what I'm about to do. When I wake up, I also want to get excited knowing that I'll be able to do the same thing the next day. Not the same task, but something that has the same end/goal in mind. Whether it means I'm on a sun deck writing on Monday, and on Friday I'll be on the computer creating brand identity while munching on a greasy, perky pastry.

2. I just paid the first installment of my surfboard. I'll be retrieving my very manly and intimidating baby pink and baby blue longboard sometime this week (once I figure out how), and Saj is also on Operation: Rescue Jack to retrieve her 7'2" funboard from a friend. It begins here. I hope this will open a new chapter full of adventures.

3. I have noticed that I used to struggle with finding the words to articulate what I have in my head. Nowadays, I think I have the problem of talking to myself too much, which essentially translates to writing really long epics. Like this list, for example. I need to learn how to tone it down while retaining the main ideas that will bop people upside the head.

4. I must admit, not having the use of a debit card has lessened my impulse buying habits (my current payroll account doesn't have EPS anymore). It's great though because I can actually channel my money to bigger purchases. "Faith" should be tattooed on me somewhere. I tend to forget that anything can happen with a bit of faith. In college, I wouldn't be able to picture buying my own iPod, skateboard, or surfboard. I would've whacked you for planting such fantasies in my head. Today I actually have those things. I guess I shouldn't balk at the idea of purchasing my own Macbook or even a car. I'm still in awe how I suddenly got to the point where I can make things happen already. Pinch me, please.

5. I'm only on number 5 and I already vomited a mouthful. Are you still with me? I have a shallow rant. When I look at the pictures I have on Facebook, I realized that I'm one of those girls guys love to make stupid faces with. It's like they're incapable of showing a nice, genuine smile with me. It's almost as if I'm the girl they're ashamed to be sharing camera space with. Come on, I'm not that repulsive! Smile with me! I'm jealous of pictures of girls who have guy friends that look proud to be with them. Don't get me wrong, stupid pictures warm my heart but I'm a simple egotistic girl who would like some love and flattery every now and then.

Case in point. But I have normal pictures with Abe, so he's off the hook.

6. I tend to be a misanthrope with most people within close vicinity. I'm not very generous with street beggars and I tend to shy away from a lot of people in general. So I find it unusual that I possess an altruistic streak somehow. I like supporting causes and I try to do volunteer work (I don't do enough of it, don't think I'm Miss Save the World), and I find myself being much friendlier and open to the people involved at relief centers and NGO's. Big picture > small picture?

7. Am I cruel for not having a lot of sympathy for beggars? I tend to run away from the child beggars, from the ones in Katipunan while I was in college, to the ones in the Ortigas and Shaw area when I started working. Sometimes I'll give my food leftovers or my spare change, but I really hate the ones who go up to you while you're eating to ask if they can have your burger. Thing is, I don't think I'm mean. I don't believe in the culture of begging. I'd rather be part of a system that would provide these people sustainable solutions. I'd rather promote the idea that people do have control over their circumstances. It's the truth, I'm sick of victim culture.

8. It doesn't change the fact though that I melt at boys who are kind to beggars. I had a boyfriend who'd always roll down the window and give his change when we'd be at a traffic light intersection. Then again, he was just always nice to everything. He'd even pet all the bomb detector dogs in the mall, no fail. He'd also be sweet to the kids on the street and talk to them, my other boyfriends were like that, too. In a way, I think maybe I do wish I could be like that. We tend to admire traits the we wished we possessed. I'm telling you, I'm afraid of people... and big dogs.

Hai, Thom Yorke! I know you'd run away from me!

9. Ok, enough about the homeless (not that Thom Yorke doesn't look homeless). I just looked back at #4 and sometimes I wonder if I'm being a selfish twat for just being preoccupied with my personal material equity. Aha, big picture versus small picture at work again. Sometimes I feel guilty that the things that matter a lot to me involve culture stuff. How does it benefit the world if I fly out to the nearest Asian country to watch Radiohead? What good does it do when I prostrate in front of James Jean with a copy of Fables when he comes here? A part of me thinks it's normal that we tend to pursue things for our personal growth and esteem. The other part of myself thinks I'm a moron for acting like a whole other universe of overpopulation, corruption, climate disasters, and poverty is just on the peripheral. I don't have an answer for this. My generic answer is to find balance between the two, but I'm not satisfied with that.

10. Man, I'm such a burgis. Though when I examine it better, I guess I should stick to my basic tenet. I discovered that I like to tell stories and I like to share ideas. I can make a bigger difference if I stick to what I know and deliver the strongest impact that I can to those who care to listen. It's nice to go global, but I think I'd rather reach out to those who can understand in depth what I'm trying to show, and if they're skilled enough, then maybe the ripples will spread. It's great to know the extent of your capabilities, but eventually you have to start understanding what your limitations are. Not having a parameter can weaken whatever it is you can do.

11. I miss going out in the daytime! REALLY! I don't care if the media and our Facebook photo albums make night time hanging out look more glamorous, I miss... lunches! Also brunches! I'll even tell you that I wouldn't mind waking up for breakfast to see my friends with Einstein hair and morning breath. I miss having the entire day for the taking. I enjoy seeing people in natural light. I think that's one reason why I like going to the beach, my friends look so good sun kissed and half naked.

"I like you so much better when you're naked!
I like me so much better when you're naked!"
That's my jam, yo.

12. November already next week? Damn.

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Oct. 25th, 2009 @ 09:56 pm ho-hum :-

And now! To enumerate all the fun things this weekend so as to rid myself of this feeling of ho-hum-ness!

1 - Yes, I was finally able to see Coco Avant Chanel!
2 - And Breakfast Club and Some Kind of Wonderful!
3 - And have a fun window-shopping weekend with Ess and my sister, on separate occasions!
4 - And Cam's birthday on Friday was unlike anytime I've gone out in the recent past -- I felt really young and hip and careless hahahaha.
5 - And hanging out in Toff's just eating and talking with Tels and Gegs was great. =) I always remember how much I miss my friends when I hang out with them again.

Wow, quite fun, but why when I'm alone, this ho-hum feeling takes over?!?! Bleh.

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w_llflower